Baby #3 will be here in late July. I am super excited and somewhat superstitious at the same time. I have wanted to talk, write and photograph my way through this pregnancy but can't quite get up the nerve. I am somewhat superstitious in that when I want things to go well, I don't talk about them even though I am bursting with excitement.
Pregnancy, is one of those things. It's not because of fertility or miscarriage, it's because I am not good at being pregnant. My first pregnancy was hard. Hard like being in college and showing up for class and having to take an exam that I hadn't studied for. Instantly, I gained a bunch of weight, had horrible aversions and developed hypertension. I felt like crap the entire time but didn't know because I didn't know how I was supposed to feel. I couldn't ask or answer any questions to be any better off than I was.
I had to be induced to prevent pre-eclampsia. I had a pretty great experience delivering our first healthy baby boy but still was not well. I ended up with pre-eclampsia after the fact. The doctor who treated me told me he thought I was going to kick his ass when he was trying to convince me that I really should be admitted to hospital for treatment. Finally, after three days in the hospital, I was better and could get on with being a new mom.
I knew going into my second pregnancy that the same exact things could happen but I could advocate for myself better and was prepared to monitor my health better. Again, I gained a lot of weight, had horrible aversions and hypertension. I laid on the couch almost the entire pregnancy. I was tired, nauseous and stressed. Somehow, I went into labor on my own and delivered our second healthy baby boy with ease. I mean, once I had an epidural and I was lined up to deliver. I felt well and was excited to leave the hospital healthy to be a new mom of two.
So, being pregnant isn't something I do well.
This pregnancy, my third pregnancy, pretty sure my last pregnancy, has been completely different. I have gained weight at a normal rate, mild aversions, lots of morning sickness, and my blood pressure is where it's supposed to be. All of which brings me back to my superstitious ways, if I talk about it, it will be bad. In turn, making it really hard for me to share here because so much of my "get out and go" spirit has got up and went!
These next fourteen weeks will be exciting as we prepare our house, our boys and ourselves for our baby to get here. Yet, everyday I will be searching for a rabbit's foot, four leaf clover, horseshoe, rainbow or ladybug that reassures me that everything will be ok.
